Sunday, October 18, 2009

Time to Emerge............

It has been several months since I've posted on my blog. This journey of mine (and just plain life) has its ups and downs and twists and turns. I want to make monumental progress, but there are times when I just have to hold on while making tiny, baby steps or maybe even backslide and then get back on my path of healing, health and wholeness.

One of my daughter's favorite books for me to read her is The Hungry Little Caterpillar. It shows a caterpillar's journey of eating, plumping up and then building a cocoon around himself. After a period of time, he begins nibbling a hole in the cocoon and pushes his way out and has become a beautiful butterfly!! Well, over the past several months I feel like I've been in a sort of cocoon, not to mention a few plumping pounds to boot. I desire to break out of the cocoon and transform into what I was meant to become. I want to reach out and connect with others. I'm tired of feeling pain and at times feeling lost.

C.S. Lewis struggled to understand how an omnipotent Being could allow such suffering. Lewis suffered much pain in his life. But, with the change of his worldview from atheism to Christianity, he looked at God as a good, conscientious surgeon: "The kinder and more conscientious he is, the more inexorably he will go on cutting. If he yielded to your entreaties, if he stopped before the operation was complete, all the pain up to that point would have been useless."

Even amidst trials and tribulations, there is peace to be found. It is finding the light within each one of us. There are many sources that would like to dim that light, but we were not meant for failure. President James E. Faust shared, "Some time ago in South America, a seasoned group of outstanding missionaries was asked, "What is the greatest need in the world?" One wisely responded, "Is not the greatest need in all of the world for every person to have a personal, ongoing, daily continuing relationship with Deity?" Having such a relationship; can unchain the divinity within us, and nothing can make a greater difference in our lives as we come to know and understand our divine relationship with God and His Beloved Son, our Master."

I know it is time for me to stop putting blocks on my own Divinity and start fully and completely taking on the yoke of Christ. For His yoke is easy and His burden is light.

Have a wonderful week and look to the beauty all around to see God's loving and tender mercies!

Friday, May 29, 2009

Forget yourself and get to work!

Memorial Day weekend tugged on my heart strings as I spent a fair amount of time thinking of my sweet Olivia. Since she is buried in San Diego, and we now live in Utah, I decided to go visit the grave of a sweet boy, Aaron, who also passed through this mortal existence unexpectedly at the age of 5. Yvonne, his mother, has become a dear and cherished friend of mine as we have comforted and helped each other during our difficult times.

My doorbell rang that afternoon, and it was Yvonne. She stopped by with a beautiful dragonfly (Aaron's symbol) necklace and pair of earrings that she had made for several moms as a Memorial Day gift to those who had lost children. How thoughtful was that?! I've seen Yvonne's mourning and pain, but she taught me a powerful lesson that day. She turned her longing and sorrow for her son into service and joy to bless others.

I was reminded of the insightful advice a wise father gave to his son while going through a difficult experience, "Forget yourself, and get to work". I thought to myself, I've licked my wounds long enough (not that we ever get over losing a child), but the only way to truly be happy is when we are in the service of others.
Ever since Olivia passed away, I have wanted to do something in her honor. I think it is time that I get to work! I have nieces and a nephew that are fighting for their lives and a cure for Cystic Fibrosis. My sweet niece Lexi passed away with this disease when she was just 14, and I absolutely know that she and Olivia are best buds in the next realm and are incredible guardian angels! I want to ask if you'd be willing to donate any amount to this important cause. As a gift for your willingness to honor Olivia and Lexi through your donation, I would like to offer you something in return.........Olivia's Princess Pearl Bracelet. Before Olivia's funeral, a wonderful friend brought me 3 beautiful pearl bracelets that she had made. One was to put on Olivia, and the other two were for my daughter Aubrey and myself to wear to symbolically keep us connected.

To express my gratitude for your donation, I will send you a delicate young child's REAL pearl bracelet and a poem about how an Oyster turns a painful grain of sand into a beautiful pearl (we can always turn something painful into something beautiful). You can then give this little bracelet to a cherished princess in your life, in Olivia and Lexi's honor. My goal is to have thousands and thousands of little s wearing these bracelets. Every little should feel like a princess! After you make your donation, just e-mail me your address at, and I'll send it out right away!

Please consider supporting this incredible cause where over 90% of every dollar donated goes directly to the foundation for research, care and education.

Making a donation is easy and secure! Just click on the Great Strides Widget on the top right corner of this blog to get to my Great Strides page to make a donation that will be credited to my team. Any amount you can donate is greatly appreciated. Please feel free to forward this on to as many people as you can! Be sure you e-mail me your address (, and I will send you an Olivia's Princess pearl bracelet and poem for a little princess in your life.

May the goodness of God and the healing and atoning power of Jesus Christ bless your life forever!

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Spring Clean To Greater Living!

Some people seem to easily and effortlessly live clutter free (like my husband and mother) and for others it is a constant battle (like me :)). I don't necessarily like clutter, in fact, I really don't like it and know that my life runs more smoothly and peacefully when I am clutter free. It is just that there are so many fun, interesting and exciting things to do, that you could most often find me doing the things that I enjoy versus what is challenging and more difficult for me.

Well, I've spent the last 8 months really trying to be proactive in "healing" some areas in my life. Just like when my central vacuum hose gets a kink in it and there is no suction or air flow for it to do it's job, our lives can get kinked emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually, financially, etc. We can simply keep doing what we are doing and get frustrated that nothing is getting better, or unkink the hose and start feeling the energy!

Several months ago, I began studying
Feng Shui principles to enrich my home life. This is an ancient art of decorating and placement based on the idea that everything in your outer surroundings affects you. One applies it in their inner life through techniques like meditation, positive thinking and creating balance and harmony in your mind, body and spirit. It also uses the Bagua, a feng shui map, to locate the energy centers in your home to enhance everything from your relationships to your career.

Well, I decided to do an experiment. My husband, Matt, was orchestrating and working on a very complex transactional deal with his company and had been working hard for several months. We rarely saw him home before 10:00 pm, and he had spent the previous week negotiating in New York. He found himself in the middle of the recent economic crisis and the deal turning sour. I decided to put what I had been studying to the test! According to Feng Shui, each area of your home represents an area of your life. When there is clutter and disorder in particular areas, the corresponding life area will also be stuck or simply not thriving. I stopped and took a look at the Prosperity and Abundance center in our home. It happened to be our back entry and laundry room. I was a bit chagrined to recognize the disarray. I had loads of unfinished laundry, piles of shoes, coats, backpacks, stacks of unwanted papers, kitty litter, etc. I thought to myself; I’m going to completely transfigure this area of my home (Prosperity and Abundance) to see if I might aide in getting Matt’s transaction accomplished.

I spent two full days catching up and clearing out the area. I didn’t stop there. I redecorated it using color, water, fragrance, plants, etc. Well, the very next day Matt came home after a long conference call involving attorneys across the country, and the deal was done!! Hallelujah. I told him afterwards what I had been doing, and my cute husband stated that to whatever effect it may have had….”Thank You” :) I’m not claiming any credit, but I do know when there is a clear intent, the energy flow moves, and with God’s grace, miracles can happen.

Who knows what will show up after we take a few loads to the DI or dump?!?!

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Monica's gift to Elder Harmer

What an amazing journey we had to the beautiful country of Australia! Jordan, or Elder Harmer, as everyone there affectionately called him, was serving in the Melbourne Mission - Chinese speaking (most of the time). From the moment he opened his call, I wanted to be able to go pick him up at the conclusion of his mission. I didn't know if it would be possible, but low and behold, the power of desire, attraction, killer airfares, and a sweet and supportive husband made the dream come true.

I won't make this a travel log but will post some fun pictures that share part of our journey. Aubrey, my sweet 16 year old daughter, and I had a fabulous experience. After she and I spent several days touring the city and outskirts of Melbourne, we finally met up with Jordan. The anticipation and excitement was very high. What a sweet experience that was to finally reconnect with my son!
The next 2 days were filled with 2 baptisms, attending 3 different wards, one fireside, dinner at the President and Sister Lindley's home and meeting lots of wonderful missionaries, recent converts, and ward members. It was humbling to see the love and gratitude shared by all of these wonderful people.

Monica, a Chinese student and recent convert that Elder Harmer and Elder Teng baptized, ran up to him at the end of the church meeting. She said that she hadn't realized he was leaving or she would have brought a gift for him. Instead, she said that she would like to give him a gift of sharing her testimony. She stood there in the foyer and humbly and confidently bore testimony of our Savior, Jesus Christ. She shared her love for Him, the Atonement and His Gospel. She concluded her testimony in the name of our Savior, Jesus Christ, Amen. Elder Harmer told her that was the best gift that anyone could have given him.
As I stood and witnessed such a tender and sweet exchange of a life altering gift that she had been given as well as her gratitude and confidence in sharing with him her knowledge and testimony, I was touched. I was deeply moved by the grace and confidence of bearing her testimony in the midst of crowds of people in the foyer. This was a priceless moment as a mother to witness. I felt the gratitude for my son's service, for a willing recipient's heart and the power of Christ to change lives, which will now bless the life of Monica and future generations.

I hope to be so humble and confident in sharing my gratitude for my Savior and His love, grace and mercy in my life.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Life Vision-----Planting Your Garden

I refuse to write anything in this blog that I'm not trying to implement myself. This is actually a very good way for me to be accountable to myself and share some wonderful things that are helping me. I want to give you a glimpse of Life Vision.

I met a wonderful woman, Ann Webb, a couple of years ago. She spoke at my home where we were holding a women's retreat entitled "A Refuge from the Storm." I bought her workbook and proceeded to create my Life Vision on my own. I spent several days thinking about all the areas in my life and what I wanted to create in each one of them - spiritual, physical, financial, relationships, and personal development. I wrote, recorded and listened to it for awhile......but, I hadn't caught the vision of how powerful this exercise could be.

I've found myself in a spot to re-create my life to a much deeper level and get the coaching and training behind it. This time I attended one of Ann's workshops which was 100% more effective for me. A small group of us were gathered to do this together. We heard Ann's own amazing story of her creating her own Life Vision and how she began manifesting the things in her life that she desired. This has turned into her becoming a Life Vision Coach where her mission is to help others create this for themselves.

About 10 of us were gathered in her living room, and the networking alone was tremendous. I was surrounded by amazing people who had creativity, energy and vision. I am confident that I will be associating with all of these people in one way or another because I was so impressed with each one of them. Then, we got to work. Right there we began typing and focusing on each area of our life - creating our ideal self. The day was broken into segments with breaks and lunch in between. By the end of the day, I had a 10 page document of my own Life Vision. We didn't end just there. I came home and finished touching up some minor details and then recorded my Life Vision with a program that Ann provided that allows you to put music to it. This reaches the subconscious part of the brain which really is the powerhouse anyway.

My Life Vision is about 30 minutes long, and I'm recording it to my Ipod to listen to while I'm exercising daily. I'll let you know when the first miracle happens!!
If you want to create the life of your dreams with power and intensity, I'd suggest you visit with Ann Webb. Her website is:

Our lives are like gardens. They constantly need maintenance. When I've worked hard and think I've arrived and eased up, guess what happens?? Weeds begin to grow and take over. We need to constantly weed out our lives and thoughts we DON'T want and continually plant, feed, water and nourish what we DO want. This will create incredible beauty.

We need to implement universal laws in this process. The Law of Attraction creates the vision, the Law of Gestation (patience....this is hard for me, but every seed planted needs a gestation or incubation period before it takes root). If we force something to grow, it won't. If we keep digging up the seed to see if it has taken root, we ruin the process. We need patience. The last law is the Law of Action. The Quakers have a wonderful saying, "When you pray, move your feet." We need to take the steps necessary to bring about our desires.

Have fun creating YOUR Life Vision, be patient, implement action steps and reap what you sow!!

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Love.....Without Conditions

I woke up few days ago and felt an urgency to talk with my brother, Randy. He had just returned from Brazil where he does a great deal of business and shares immense love to the impoverished children and families there through his company and He had not been feeling well. Could he see me on such short notice? Certainly he has a busy schedule as a top executive of a billion dollar company, but that never seems to deter him from opening his heart to whomever needs it.

I called him on the phone first thing in the morning and requested a personal visit. Even though he had out of town guests and a busy schedule, he told me he would see me as soon as I could get to his office.

As I arrived and was escorted to the executive floor of Monavie, he had 3 people standing at his office door waiting to see him for an apparently important scheduled meeting. They looked at me and asked if I was also there to see Randy. Yes, I told them. Moments later when Randy arrived, I told him I could wait until after his meeting, and he said NO! He postponed his important scheduled meetings until we were done visiting, which was over an hour later.

He looked tired. He had been faced with some health and family challenges, but sat down with me on his beautiful leather couch and opened his heart and mind and allowed me to share mine.

First of all, I thanked him for his unconditional love and not judging me through my trials. I've personally faced an incredibly difficult past 3 years. His response struck so deeply in my soul, and I knew that he KNEW it with all of his heart. He said, "Stacy, I believe that is the only kind of love there is." Love.....without any conditions.

It has taken me a long time to learn some very important lessons through my own tests, trials, temptations and tribulations. When I hit rock bottom and had lost all hope, I realized that no one has a right to judge another person. My heart hurt for the times that I had judged others because they didn't fit into my mold or meet my expectations. When I failed to meet up to my own expectations, instead of forgiving myself and believing Christ would be merciful, I sunk into a deep dark hole. That was another time that Randy taught me about love.

At our family reunion last year, I wasn't doing well physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually. My 9 siblings, mother (dad was asleep :), and husband gathered to listen and provide me with strength as I opened my heart to share my pain and burdens. After many tears and heartache, my brother Randy spoke up. Stacy, we can't know and understand all of the experiences you've gone through, but we can express our love to you. Then he asked everyone to go around in the circle and share their love. I sat there sobbing because at that time, I absolutely didn't love myself, but I felt a glimmer of hope and was strengthened.

I have an amazing family that I've learned much from. Thank you Randy for opening your heart, putting aside yourself and your own demands, for listening, and modeling for me how to love. For without love, we are nothing. I love you. (Randy is far left of photo).

Monday, March 23, 2009

Dream the Impossible Dream!

I want to welcome you to my blog!! Thank you for tuning in as I share some of the lessons I've learned in life to be "Simply Joyful" and to truly live my heart's desire. This may sound overly optimistic or Pollyanna, but I've found through hard experience that we can be the creators of our lives - either good or bad.

At the end of the year, 1776, Robert Morris wrote a letter to George Washington. He stated that the year was over, and may there never be another like it! Well, that was how my husband and I felt about 2008. I'm not going to go into the details here and now except to say that it was physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually exhausting to say the least. Yet, something remarkable happens when the storms of life occur. It waters and maybe even floods the ground, but eventually as time passes that ground is nourished to a much deeper level and the roots are fed and strengthened; the grass grows richer and greener, and flowers begin to bloom after the rain!

At the end of 2008, I decided to write out my obituary. Please don't think me morbid, but a wonderful mentor of mine told me to do this activity. What did I want to be said of me at the end of my life? What was I born to do? This was an interesting and eye opening exercise. I then wrote out my 20 year, 10, 5, 2 1/2 and 1 year goals. How big could I dream? I was not interested in merely surviving; I was interested in thriving! It wasn't about how much pain could I endure, but about how much joy could I hold?

Believe me, I had experienced my own personal hell so deeply and had felt surrounded by so much darkness that the thought of being the creator of my life was liberating. I had to take responsibility for attracting the trials that had come my way, own them and feel the pain that they caused. I had to look myself square in the face. This is not always easy, but it is empowering! My belief system is such that I believe we have the potential within ourselves to one day create worlds. If so, then why wouldn't God allow us to demonstrate this creative power in our own lives? How exciting!

After I had listed my heart's desire, I decided to create a dream board for 2009. I gathered magazines from all around the home and cut out pictures to detail my dream 2009. It was so fun. The sky was the limit. Now, that board hangs on my bedroom wall where I see it several times per day. It is already remarkable to me that many of the things that I had posted have already come to pass. So, I challenge you today to list what your heart's desire is. Know this with absolute clarity. Write it down and even create a board if you would like. Remember, it's not about how much pain you can endure but how much joy can you hold!