Update on Gabriella Grace

We are anxiously awaiting our travel approval to go to China. I understand that we should get our approval by the middle of April, and then hopefully we will be traveling the first part of May. I am trying to keep busy because waiting is no fun. We are all excited to bring sweet Gabriella home!

Gabriella Grace

We are so excited to welcome Gabriella Grace into our home and family! We started the adoption process about a year ago and hopefully will be traveling to pick her up by April of this year. I pray for her daily that she is healthy and happy and getting lots of attention. She is in an orphanage in China. She is two years younger than Bella, and Bella talks about her baby sister daily. She is very excited to have a little playmate. Please say a prayer for Gabriella, and we will keep you posted on our travel plans. Stay tuned!

Thank you to my dear friends and family who give my life meaning! I named my blog, Simply Joyful, for a reason. In the scriptures we read that men are that they might have joy! I started this blog after a period in my life where I certainly was not in joy. In fact, I found myself in so much pain, darkness and depression that I didn't know how to get out. Lucky for me, my husband (who is my hero) got me the help that could put me on a path to healing. I believe that there is opposition in all things. I'm not always crazy about that principle, but I trust that God knows better than I do. I've always loved and longed for spiritual things and experiences. I just didn't understand that by going on this path to the extent that I did, I would come face to face with darkness, which nearly destroyed me.

Today I feel joy! I feel peace! I feel gratitude! One of the reasons I have these feelings is for unbelievable family and friends who witnessed me falling from my path and stepped in with love to help guide me back. I have family and friends that dropped everything they were doing and spent time with me to lovingly point me to the right direction. There were others that met the needs of my children and family when I was incapable of doing so. I've been surrounded by angels on both sides of the veil.

Losing Olivia was the catalyst in my life to truly wake up! I wouldn't have every day with my children. I needed to make sure my priorities were in the right place. Too often I forget or get busy and get a different wake up call. Being a mother is working in partnership with God, and he can make anything beautiful!

I was writing my son Christian recently who is serving a mission for our church in Chile. I included a quote in my letter from a book that states:

"Man has learned to do magnificent things—build pyramids, construct bridges, erect towering office buildings, lay down highways. But as man builds, nature immediately begins to undo his work, rusting away the iron and decaying the wood. On the other hand, if man plants, nature proceeds to complete his unfinished work. Man sows a seed; up comes wheat. Man plants a sapling; up comes a tree. Such is the difference between working alone and working with God."

I would rather build with God than on my own any day!

I feel gratitude to my Father in Heaven, for stepping in and creating beauty from ashes in my life. These are a few of the flowers in my garden today! I love planting flowers and creating beautiful gardens! He is the author of beauty! When I look out into my garden I feel grateful that He has helped me create and see the beauty around me. Thank you my dear family and friends for your sunshine and influence in my life!

A Memorial for Memorial Day

Since my daughter is buried in San Diego, and we can't be at her grave site on Memorial Day, I want to honor her by sharing my thoughts that I shared at her funeral 4 1/2 years ago. How grateful I am for eternal relationships! Olivia, I love you....xoxoxo

Never in a million years could I have prepared myself for the events that have taken place over the past week. Thank you for sharing our burden, for easing our pain. We’ve felt your prayers. We have been so overwhelmed at the love that we’ve felt since the loss of our beautiful daughter. I don’t know how anyone could make it through something so horrendous without family, friends and the gospel of Jesus Christ.

I'd like to share a quote from one of my favorite books, The Chosen:

Human beings do not live forever. We live less than the time it takes to blink an eye, if we measure our lives against eternity……What does it mean to have to suffer so much if our lives are nothing more than a blink of an eye? I learned a long time ago that a blink of an eye in itself is nothing. But the eye that blinks, that is something. A span of life is nothing. But the man (or girl) who lives that span, she is something. She can fill that tiny span with meaning, so its quality is immeasurable though its quantity may be insignificant.

Five short years ago to this very day, Olivia Grace traveled from her native land of Korea and was placed into my arms. My joy was exquisite and the bonding instant; absolutely no different than when I had given birth to my four other children. I was in love! The joining of our hearts on December 19, 2000 was the culmination of an incredible spiritual journey to bring her into our home.

There are many things that I do not know in this world, but I do know that Olivia was meant to enter our home. The call was strong, although at times, the flesh was weak. There were countless times through the adoption process that I would fall to my knees for strength and assurance because of my own insecurity to do such a thing. We already had four children of our own and I could have had another child, but it was clear to me what the Lord wanted. Because of that assurance I told Matt: “I don’t dare NOT follow through on these promptings.” Olivia’s name comes from the allegory in Jacob 5 about the Olive tree. She would be as the olive branch from another part of the Lord’s vineyard and be grafted or sealed into our family. Grace means a blessing from God

Although the pain has been unbelievably intense and I’ve agonized over and over and over the heart wrenching events of the past week, today I feel peace and blessed knowing she is safely back to our Father in Heaven and the Savior, Jesus Christ. Just hours before her passing, she asked me to cradle her in my arms and hold her like a baby. I know the Savior is doing the same for her.

Many of you have asked if there is anything that you could do. You've already shared our burdens, helped ease our pain, mourned with us, but there is something I want to ask each of you to do in Olivia’s honor. I would give anything to have more time with Olivia. You have that time with your own children, and so do I with my 4 beautiful, incredible remaining children. Please give your children a thousand more hugs and kisses, play more games, read more stories, take more walks, have more date nights, be more patient and loving, eliminate cross words, and cuddle with them…… like there is no tomorrow. LOVE – the most powerful force on earth

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Family photo the day Olivia was sealed to us in the Bountiful Temple.

Begin Again in 2010

I was talking with a friend of mine the other day, and she said that her family had a new motto for this year ---- Begin Again in 2010. They had some discord over the past year and decided as a family to start the year out fresh rather than hang on to old baggage and tension. I thought that was a great catchy motto and have been pondering the idea of "Beginning Again in 2010".

In the scriptures we read that men are that they might have joy. If that is the purpose of our existence, then why isn't everyone joyful? One of the surest ways to find joy is to live in the present! I've learned this the hard way as I desperately tried to hang on to the past. Joy might also slip by us as we are focusing and planning on the future.

One of my goals for the new year is to stay riveted to the present. I have many wonderful friends and family that do a great job of living in the present and just "being". The above photo is of my husband and two sons on one of their many outdoor adventures. Matt definitely knows and strives to live in the present. You've got to check out my dear friend Stefany's blog that captures the beauty of being present and living in each moment. I promise it will be worth your time - http://2713mornings.blogspot.com.

I really love this poem that I just came across by Helen Mallicoat and wanted to share it:

I was regretting the past

And fearing the future....

Suddenly my Lord was speaking:

"MY NAME IS I AM." He paused.

I waited. He continued,

"WHEN YOU LIVE IN THE PAST,

WITH ITS MISTAKES AND REGRETS,

IT IS HARD. I AM NOT THERE.

MY NAME IS NOT I WAS.

"WHEN YOU LIVE IN THE FUTURE,

WITH ITS PROBLEMS AND FEARS,

IT IS HARD. I AM NOT THERE.

MY NAME IS NOT I WILL BE.

"WHEN YOU LIVE IN THIS MOMENT,

IT IS NOT HARD.

I AM HERE.

MY NAME IS I AM."

Have a joy filled day with love and light!!

Time to Emerge............

It has been several months since I've posted on my blog. This journey of mine (and just plain life) has its ups and downs and twists and turns. I want to make monumental progress, but there are times when I just have to hold on while making tiny, baby steps or maybe even backslide and then get back on my path of healing, health and wholeness.

One of my daughter's favorite books for me to read her is The Hungry Little Caterpillar. It shows a caterpillar's journey of eating, plumping up and then building a cocoon around himself. After a period of time, he begins nibbling a hole in the cocoon and pushes his way out and has become a beautiful butterfly!! Well, over the past several months I feel like I've been in a sort of cocoon, not to mention a few plumping pounds to boot. I desire to break out of the cocoon and transform into what I was meant to become. I want to reach out and connect with others. I'm tired of feeling pain and at times feeling lost.

C.S. Lewis struggled to understand how an omnipotent Being could allow such suffering. Lewis suffered much pain in his life. But, with the change of his worldview from atheism to Christianity, he looked at God as a good, conscientious surgeon: "The kinder and more conscientious he is, the more inexorably he will go on cutting. If he yielded to your entreaties, if he stopped before the operation was complete, all the pain up to that point would have been useless."


Even amidst trials and tribulations, there is peace to be found. It is finding the light within each one of us. There are many sources that would like to dim that light, but we were not meant for failure. President James E. Faust shared, "Some time ago in South America, a seasoned group of outstanding missionaries was asked, "What is the greatest need in the world?" One wisely responded, "Is not the greatest need in all of the world for every person to have a personal, ongoing, daily continuing relationship with Deity?" Having such a relationship; can unchain the divinity within us, and nothing can make a greater difference in our lives as we come to know and understand our divine relationship with God and His Beloved Son, our Master."


I know it is time for me to stop putting blocks on my own Divinity and start fully and completely taking on the yoke of Christ. For His yoke is easy and His burden is light.

Have a wonderful week and look to the beauty all around to see God's loving and tender mercies!

Forget yourself and get to work!

Memorial Day weekend tugged on my heart strings as I spent a fair amount of time thinking of my sweet Olivia. Since she is buried in San Diego, and we now live in Utah, I decided to go visit the grave of a sweet boy, Aaron, who also passed through this mortal existence unexpectedly at the age of 5. Yvonne, his mother, has become a dear and cherished friend of mine as we have comforted and helped each other during our difficult times.

My doorbell rang that afternoon, and it was Yvonne. She stopped by with a beautiful dragonfly (Aaron's symbol) necklace and pair of earrings that she had made for several moms as a Memorial Day gift to those who had lost children. How thoughtful was that?! I've seen Yvonne's mourning and pain, but she taught me a powerful lesson that day. She turned her longing and sorrow for her son into service and joy to bless others.

I was reminded of the insightful advice a wise father gave to his son while going through a difficult experience, "Forget yourself, and get to work". I thought to myself, I've licked my wounds long enough (not that we ever get over losing a child), but the only way to truly be happy is when we are in the service of others.

Ever since Olivia passed away, I have wanted to do something in her honor. I think it is time that I get to work! I have nieces and a nephew that are fighting for their lives and a cure for Cystic Fibrosis. My sweet niece Lexi passed away with this disease when she was just 14, and I absolutely know that she and Olivia are best buds in the next realm and are incredible guardian angels! I want to ask if you'd be willing to donate any amount to this important cause. As a gift for your willingness to honor Olivia and Lexi through your donation, I would like to offer you something in return.........Olivia's Princess Pearl Bracelet. Before Olivia's funeral, a wonderful friend brought me 3 beautiful pearl bracelets that she had made. One was to put on Olivia, and the other two were for my daughter Aubrey and myself to wear to symbolically keep us connected.

To express my gratitude for your donation, I will send you a delicate young child's REAL pearl bracelet and a poem about how an Oyster turns a painful grain of sand into a beautiful pearl (we can always turn something painful into something beautiful). You can then give this little bracelet to a cherished princess in your life, in Olivia and Lexi's honor. My goal is to have thousands and thousands of little s wearing these bracelets. Every little should feel like a princess! After you make your donation, just e-mail me your address at stacyharmer@gmail.com, and I'll send it out right away!

Please consider supporting this incredible cause where over 90% of every dollar donated goes directly to the foundation for research, care and education.

Making a donation is easy and secure! Just click on the Great Strides Widget on the top right corner of this blog to get to my Great Strides page to make a donation that will be credited to my team. Any amount you can donate is greatly appreciated. Please feel free to forward this on to as many people as you can! Be sure you e-mail me your address (stacyharmer@gmail.com), and I will send you an Olivia's Princess pearl bracelet and poem for a little princess in your life.

May the goodness of God and the healing and atoning power of Jesus Christ bless your life forever!