I know the power of thoughts! Unfortunately, I used them in a negative way to almost completely destroy myself. I didn't realize what I was doing at the time, but I was digging a pit deeper and deeper for myself. The journey out of the pit and to the promised land has been an adventure indeed. The amazing thing is that I believe that my path was to go to the pit, the dark abyss, for a time to know what it really feels like to be lost and alone. It has birthed a level of compassion within me for those that are struggling that I never had before. I feel so deeply for those that have lost hope and struggle with depression, grief, pain and low self worth.
I realize that I had placed so much of my worth in the label I had as a mother. I wanted nothing more than to be a wonderful mother. When my little daughter, Olivia, unexpectedly passed away, so did my worth and value in my own eyes. I felt as though I had failed her, God and myself. I didn't get angry with God, but I did take out my pain and anger out on myself. I crucified myself with my own thoughts, and in doing so, I spiraled down to the dark place.
So why is this liberating to me? If I could create a Hell with my own thoughts, then I had that much power to create a Paradise for myself. We really are creators of our own destiny. In Romans 12:2 it reads ".....be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by therenewing of your mind......" We need to think different thoughts and look at life differently. As we fill our mind with the TRUTH about who we are and have always been, our inner lives become transformed. Our outward actions are an expression of the inner transformation.
In my own experience, that transformation comes as we allow Jesus Christ to change our hearts. When we seriously take His name upon us, He begins our transformation from the inside out. It doesn't happen over night and may seem very slow at times. He has given us permission to leave our past behind and move forward in faith.
I really love the poem by Helen Mallicoat ~
I WAS REGRETTING THE PAST,
AND FEARING THE FUTURE.....
SUDDENLY MY LORD WAS SPEAKING;
"MY NAME IS I AM." HE PAUSED.
I WAITED. HE CONTINUED,
"WHEN YOU LIVE IN THE PAST,
WITH ITS MISTAKES AND REGRETS,
IT IS HARD. I AM NOT THERE.
MY NAME IS NOT I WAS.
"WHEN YOU LIVE IN THE FUTURE,
WITH ITS PROBLEMS AND FEARS,
IT IS HARD. I AM NOT THERE.
MY NAME IS NOT I WILL BE.
"WHEN YOU LIVE IN THIS MOMENT,
IT IS NOT HARD.
I AM HERE.
MY NAME IS I AM."
Have a joyful journey in transforming your mind!
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