A Memorial for Memorial Day

Since my daughter is buried in San Diego, and we can't be at her grave site on Memorial Day, I want to honor her by sharing my thoughts that I shared at her funeral 4 1/2 years ago. How grateful I am for eternal relationships! Olivia, I love you....xoxoxo

Never in a million years could I have prepared myself for the events that have taken place over the past week. Thank you for sharing our burden, for easing our pain. We’ve felt your prayers. We have been so overwhelmed at the love that we’ve felt since the loss of our beautiful daughter. I don’t know how anyone could make it through something so horrendous without family, friends and the gospel of Jesus Christ.

I'd like to share a quote from one of my favorite books, The Chosen:

Human beings do not live forever. We live less than the time it takes to blink an eye, if we measure our lives against eternity……What does it mean to have to suffer so much if our lives are nothing more than a blink of an eye? I learned a long time ago that a blink of an eye in itself is nothing. But the eye that blinks, that is something. A span of life is nothing. But the man (or girl) who lives that span, she is something. She can fill that tiny span with meaning, so its quality is immeasurable though its quantity may be insignificant.

Five short years ago to this very day, Olivia Grace traveled from her native land of Korea and was placed into my arms. My joy was exquisite and the bonding instant; absolutely no different than when I had given birth to my four other children. I was in love! The joining of our hearts on December 19, 2000 was the culmination of an incredible spiritual journey to bring her into our home.

There are many things that I do not know in this world, but I do know that Olivia was meant to enter our home. The call was strong, although at times, the flesh was weak. There were countless times through the adoption process that I would fall to my knees for strength and assurance because of my own insecurity to do such a thing. We already had four children of our own and I could have had another child, but it was clear to me what the Lord wanted. Because of that assurance I told Matt: “I don’t dare NOT follow through on these promptings.” Olivia’s name comes from the allegory in Jacob 5 about the Olive tree. She would be as the olive branch from another part of the Lord’s vineyard and be grafted or sealed into our family. Grace means a blessing from God

Although the pain has been unbelievably intense and I’ve agonized over and over and over the heart wrenching events of the past week, today I feel peace and blessed knowing she is safely back to our Father in Heaven and the Savior, Jesus Christ. Just hours before her passing, she asked me to cradle her in my arms and hold her like a baby. I know the Savior is doing the same for her.

Many of you have asked if there is anything that you could do. You've already shared our burdens, helped ease our pain, mourned with us, but there is something I want to ask each of you to do in Olivia’s honor. I would give anything to have more time with Olivia. You have that time with your own children, and so do I with my 4 beautiful, incredible remaining children. Please give your children a thousand more hugs and kisses, play more games, read more stories, take more walks, have more date nights, be more patient and loving, eliminate cross words, and cuddle with them…… like there is no tomorrow. LOVE – the most powerful force on earth

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Family photo the day Olivia was sealed to us in the Bountiful Temple.

Forget yourself and get to work!

Memorial Day weekend tugged on my heart strings as I spent a fair amount of time thinking of my sweet Olivia. Since she is buried in San Diego, and we now live in Utah, I decided to go visit the grave of a sweet boy, Aaron, who also passed through this mortal existence unexpectedly at the age of 5. Yvonne, his mother, has become a dear and cherished friend of mine as we have comforted and helped each other during our difficult times.

My doorbell rang that afternoon, and it was Yvonne. She stopped by with a beautiful dragonfly (Aaron's symbol) necklace and pair of earrings that she had made for several moms as a Memorial Day gift to those who had lost children. How thoughtful was that?! I've seen Yvonne's mourning and pain, but she taught me a powerful lesson that day. She turned her longing and sorrow for her son into service and joy to bless others.

I was reminded of the insightful advice a wise father gave to his son while going through a difficult experience, "Forget yourself, and get to work". I thought to myself, I've licked my wounds long enough (not that we ever get over losing a child), but the only way to truly be happy is when we are in the service of others.

Ever since Olivia passed away, I have wanted to do something in her honor. I think it is time that I get to work! I have nieces and a nephew that are fighting for their lives and a cure for Cystic Fibrosis. My sweet niece Lexi passed away with this disease when she was just 14, and I absolutely know that she and Olivia are best buds in the next realm and are incredible guardian angels! I want to ask if you'd be willing to donate any amount to this important cause. As a gift for your willingness to honor Olivia and Lexi through your donation, I would like to offer you something in return.........Olivia's Princess Pearl Bracelet. Before Olivia's funeral, a wonderful friend brought me 3 beautiful pearl bracelets that she had made. One was to put on Olivia, and the other two were for my daughter Aubrey and myself to wear to symbolically keep us connected.

To express my gratitude for your donation, I will send you a delicate young child's REAL pearl bracelet and a poem about how an Oyster turns a painful grain of sand into a beautiful pearl (we can always turn something painful into something beautiful). You can then give this little bracelet to a cherished princess in your life, in Olivia and Lexi's honor. My goal is to have thousands and thousands of little s wearing these bracelets. Every little should feel like a princess! After you make your donation, just e-mail me your address at stacyharmer@gmail.com, and I'll send it out right away!

Please consider supporting this incredible cause where over 90% of every dollar donated goes directly to the foundation for research, care and education.

Making a donation is easy and secure! Just click on the Great Strides Widget on the top right corner of this blog to get to my Great Strides page to make a donation that will be credited to my team. Any amount you can donate is greatly appreciated. Please feel free to forward this on to as many people as you can! Be sure you e-mail me your address (stacyharmer@gmail.com), and I will send you an Olivia's Princess pearl bracelet and poem for a little princess in your life.

May the goodness of God and the healing and atoning power of Jesus Christ bless your life forever!