Simply Joyful

Transform Your Mind

2011-11-04T14:26:00.000-07:00

I know the power of thoughts! Unfortunately, I used them in a negative way to almost completely destroy myself. I didn't realize what I was doing at the time, but I was digging a pit deeper and deeper for myself. The journey out of the pit and to the promised land has been an adventure indeed. The amazing thing is that I believe that my path was to go to the pit, the dark abyss, for a time to know what it really feels like to be lost and alone. It has birthed a level of compassion within me for those that are struggling that I never had before. I feel so deeply for those that have lost hope and struggle with depression, grief, pain and low self worth.

I realize that I had placed so much of my worth in the label I had as a mother. I wanted nothing more than to be a wonderful mother. When my little daughter, Olivia, unexpectedly passed away, so did my worth and value in my own eyes. I felt as though I had failed her, God and myself. I didn't get angry with God, but I did take out my pain and anger out on myself. I crucified myself with my own thoughts, and in doing so, I spiraled down to the dark place.

So why is this liberating to me? If I could create a Hell with my own thoughts, then I had that much power to create a Paradise for myself. We really are creators of our own destiny. In Romans 12:2 it reads ".....be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by therenewing of your mind......" We need to think different thoughts and look at life differently. As we fill our mind with the TRUTH about who we are and have always been, our inner lives become transformed. Our outward actions are an expression of the inner transformation.

In my own experience, that transformation comes as we allow Jesus Christ to change our hearts. When we seriously take His name upon us, He begins our transformation from the inside out. It doesn't happen over night and may seem very slow at times. He has given us permission to leave our past behind and move forward in faith.

I really love the poem by Helen Mallicoat ~

I WAS REGRETTING THE PAST,

AND FEARING THE FUTURE.....

SUDDENLY MY LORD WAS SPEAKING;

"MY NAME IS I AM." HE PAUSED.

I WAITED. HE CONTINUED,

"WHEN YOU LIVE IN THE PAST,

WITH ITS MISTAKES AND REGRETS,

IT IS HARD. I AM NOT THERE.

MY NAME IS NOT I WAS.

"WHEN YOU LIVE IN THE FUTURE,

WITH ITS PROBLEMS AND FEARS,

IT IS HARD. I AM NOT THERE.

MY NAME IS NOT I WILL BE.

"WHEN YOU LIVE IN THIS MOMENT,

IT IS NOT HARD.

I AM HERE.

MY NAME IS I AM."

Have a joyful journey in transforming your mind!

I invite you to follow my new blog/website at www.stacyharmer.com

Our Chinese Adoption

2011-05-02T02:02:00.000-07:00

May 1, 2011

Well the day is finally here! We are flying to China. We started this adoption about a year and half ago. There has been a huge amount of work to pull it off. There were delays in the process, loads of paper work, home study updates, finger printing, background checks, etc. Someone once said to me how nice and easy it would be to adopt and just have someone hand you your child. For me, adoption has taken a lot more work, effort and patience than giving birth (although I was blessed to have easy pregnancies). I am excited as we anticipate the weeks ahead. We will be touring Beijing and Hong Kong before we get to meet little Gabriella. Then once they bring her to us, we will have 12 days in Guangzhou, China with her to finalize the adoption. It will be an adventure of a life time. Matt and I celebrate our 25^th wedding anniversary next month, so these next few weeks will be a celebration of that. God is good and perfect in helping us create the perfect family for us.

May 3, 2011

Today was a full and exciting day! First, we went to Tiananmen Square. It was huge! We saw the Hero’s monument, the building for Mao’s remains, and a historic museum. We then walked through the Outer City, Inner City, Imperial City and Forbidden City. I had no idea how massive this was. We had watched the movie, The Last Emperor, before we came which gave us a good understanding of what went on in the Forbidden City, but I was totally shocked at how big it was.

We then went to an authentic little Chinese restaurant. The food was very delicious. We had noodles, kung pao chicken and fried shredded potatoes. Then we climbed a ton of stairs to the top of the Drum Tower, where they have many very, very large drums that are hundreds of years old, and they do a drum show every couple of hours. The last part of our tour today was a bicycle ride through Hotung. This is the old part of Beijing. We stopped at a market and saw all of the varieties of fruits, vegetables and meats. When we finally got back to the hotel, Matt and I collapsed and took a four hour nap! I think our bodies are still adjusting to the time change. Fun times…….and one day closer to getting Gabriella!

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Today was another full day. We first went to the Summer Palace. It was very large and quite beautiful. It is surrounded by a large lake. We took a boat ride across to another small island. Then in the afternoon we went to the Temple of Heaven. The architecture was very beautiful. The grounds were also very nice and peaceful. It was a HUGE area and very park like. Then this evening we met Dad Harmer and Lena and her sister for dinner at the Peking Duck Restaurant. It is the oldest and most famous restaurant in Beijing. We walked along the streets and did some street shopping. Matt wants to wait to buy things until we get to Guangzhou so we don’t have to carry extra weight around. We were very full from lunch and dinner, but that didn’t stop us from stopping at Hagan das across the street to get a yummy scoop of ice cream. We got back to the hotel and Matt and I started playing Rummy. That didn’t last for long because he started nodding off while we were playing. Now he is fast asleep. J

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Today we climbed the Great Wall of China! We climbed a ton of stairs. We basically climbed up the mountain in stairs. It was pretty impressive. They say the Great Wall is about 3100 miles – approximately the same as crossing the United States! It is difficult to imagine building such a massive thing. Afterwards we went to The Sacred Way – the tombs of the Emperors in the Ming Dynasty. We saw lots of animal statues that were supposed to guard and protect the tombs. We went today with Amy and Peter Capian. They are a couple from Rochester New York, and they are adopting a little boy. This is their first child. They were very nice, and hopefully we will see them in Guangzhou and let Gabriella ataynd Henry play together. I can’t believe that we are finally going to get her in 4 more days!

Friday, May 06, 2011

Today we arrived in Hong Kong! What a beautiful city. I really had no idea. It is all situated around a harbor and a couple of islands. The sky line is spectacular, and it seems like there is an incredible view everywhere you go. Today we got checked into our hotel – The Langham Place Hotel. It is a beautiful facility with an impressive view of the city out the huge window in the room. Then we ventured out. We took the subway, bus and taxi to get around. We rode the tram/cable car up to Victoria Peak which is basically the highest point in Hong Kong and gives an impressive view over all of Hong Kong. There is a mall at the top of the peak, and we sat down to a very nice dinner – mostly raw fish. Matt loved it, and I am slowly acquiring a taste for it. We then rode the fairy back to the other part of the island to get back to our hotel. The Ferry is a great place to view the city skyline from the water. It is just an awesome view. My favorite thing is to people watch. And every time I see an adorable little Asian girl, I know that we are counting down the days till we get our Gabriella. Just about 2 days from now, she will be in our arms.

Saturday, May 07, 2011

Today we relaxed by the pool in the morning, and then went out on the town for a big adventure. We went to see the Big Buddha and the Loa Pin Monastery. We rode a tram/gondola up to the top of the mountain where the Big Buddha sits. It was huge! Then at dusk, we took a harbor cruise. The harbor is absolutely gorgeous!

Sunday, May 08, 2011

Today was just a travel day. We said goodbye to Hong Kong and flew to Guangzhou. We are very pleasantly surprised at how nice Guangzhou feels. We are staying at the White Swan Hotel. This is traditionally the place where most adoptive families stay. We are right along the water of the Pearl River and it is absolutely beautiful. We are on Shamian Island. There are palm trees around and cute little shops around our hotel. There is a huge waterfall and gorgeous plants and flowers all around. Tomorrow is the big day!

Monday, May 09, 2011 – Gotcha Day!

Today was pretty unbelievable. So many emotions for everyone. There were probably around 15-20 families that were picking up their children today. We met at the Civil Affairs Office. They brought out a child at a time to their families. It was pretty traumatic for all the ones that I witnessed. Little Gabriella was so scared and very sad for awhile. She was screaming pretty hard. We got her calmed down and then she actually finally fell asleep in my arms. She is tiny! She is 20 months today but feels and acts more like about a 6-8 month old. She has such a pretty little face and big, beautiful eyes. We took her for a walk around the island this afternoon and other Asians would stop and talk with us and comment on her big, beautiful eyes. We’ve hardly gotten her to eat anything. She won’t open her mouth to put any food in. She is used to the bottle, so I mixed rice cereal and formula together tonight and put it in her bottle, and luckily she drank it up.

At first she was very scared of Dad, but she has grown more used to him. She even let him hold her for a minute tonight without crying. We met the director of the orphanage, and he is a very sweet man. I really give my hat to him and the nannies that take care of these children. There were 22 other children around her age in the orphanage and man, many more at different ages. We met a family today that was adopting a 13 year old girl that had lived in the orphanage. As you can imagine, that is the only home these children have ever known, so leaving can be quite traumatic, but we understand that after a day or two they feel calm and secure in their new environment. We have an appt. in the morning and more papers to sign, and the Chinese officials also conduct an interview with us. Then the next day, we have a dr. appt. for her. She has been sick with a cold for the last couple of weeks, so they said she is a little weak. My goal is to see a smile on her face before we leave!

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Today has been a great day! I was afraid I wouldn’t get a smile out of Gabriella, but we got her smiling and even giggling. It takes some work, but she has warmed up to me and will occasionally smile. That feels like a huge milestone. We went to the office of Civil Affairs today and signed the adoption paperwork. We had 2 interviews, and they asked us questions like why we were adopting, if we were happy with our child, how much income we had, and we had to promise to always love and care for her. We took some photos with the other couple that Helen is facilitating and that also worked with Wasatch. After that I took Gabriella down to the Swan Room to play. She had fun and smiled and giggled. I even got her to walk a little bit while holding on to my hand. Her legs are pretty weak, but she was able to do it with assistance. The island is spectacular. It is absolutely gorgeous with lots of beautiful flowers and trees. I plan on taking some nice pictures of her here among the flowers. I continually get stopped by strangers to look and admire Gabriella.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Today we had a relaxed morning, and I walked around the island and played in the play room with Gabriella. She has become so animated and fun. She laughs, giggles, squeals and just smiles with the cutest little grin. In the afternoon, we went to do the medical exam. She didn’t like it much, but it was pretty painless. They just looked in her ears and mouth, took her temperature, measured her weight and height and then did a physical exam. They said that she is normal but just small in size. That is exactly what the orphanage has told us. We are so overjoyed that each day she seems more alive and engaged with us. After the exam, we went to apply for her visa/passport. Most of the families were gathered there at the same time. It is really fun to get to know the other couples and families.

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Today was a quiet day. We just stayed on the island. I love to walk around and see all of the beautiful flowers. Gabriella had a couple of bouts with diarrhea, but she has been eating quite a bit. She seems energized and happy. She giggles and laughs all of the time. While she was taking a nap, I did some shopping. I got some beautiful Chinese dresses for Gabriella and Isabella, a tea set and pearls for Aubrey, and Matt got a cool sword for Hunter. We still have some more shopping to do, but we will be here for another week.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Today we ventured out and did some sight seeing. We went the the Buddhist Temple of the 6 Banyon Trees. There was a beautiful Pagodo that was built in about 1000 A.D. It was a beautiful and peaceful place in the midst of a busy city. There were people around burning incense and leaving flowers and fruit for the Buddha. Then we took about a 20 minute walk to reach the tomb of one of the emperors. It was just discovered about 20-25 years ago. They had many of his treasures displayed as well as the actual tomb and surrounding rooms. Gabriella was a trooper, and she was in the baby carrier. She seems to have some digestive issues and really isn’t eating much. She is sleeping great though. She sleeps through the night so peacefully.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Today was another quiet day on the island. Matt and I actually spent an hour playing ping pong. I won 5 games to 4, but he gave me a run for my money. He has been winning Rummy, so it was time that I won something J. We relaxed by the pool for a little while, and then met Helen to sign some adoption papers. Both Gabriella and Matt took a long afternoon nap.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Today has been quite humid and a little bit rainy. We shopped around the island, played in the playroom, and the most exciting thing we did was take a Pearl River Cruise. We were on the Dragon boat, and the cruise was very enjoyable. There was a nice breeze and the lights were pretty impressive on some of the buildings. Gabriella of course enjoyed being outside. Unfortunately, over the past couple of days she has not seemed to feel too well. She seems to have lost her appetite and seems to get a tummy ache. She also just seems sad. I think it is part of the grieving process.

Monday, May 16, 2011

Today was an interesting day. We met up with Helen and the Davidsons and Carpians. We went to the Pearl and Jade Markets. Then we went to the open food market. That was quite an experience. They had all sorts of things from snakes, scorpions, pigeons, turtles, etc. It is so interesting how different our cultures are related to the things we eat. Gabriella seems to have gotten her small appetite back. She seemed much happier today. Every bit of progress is great.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Another day in Guangzhou. Today we had an adventure and went to the city zoo. It was a nice place with a lake right in the middle of it. There were quite a few animals, and we saw the famous Chinese Panda Bear. I was excited because today Gabriella was very animated and seemed so happy. She would spontaneously kick her legs, reach for things, smile, coo and giggle. It was probably the most animated we’ve seen her since we’ve had her. We took her to the play room, and she loved to play. She got down on the ground and was playing with a ball, and then she would walk around the room holding my hand. We continue to meet many different families that are adopting.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Today was a beautiful day. We got up and went to the Baiyun Shan Gardens. It was a beautiful little oasis just outside of Guangzhou. I love how there are these beautiful places tucked in amidst the big crowded city. We were going to ride a tram up the mountain and see the view as well, but little Gabriella was getting a bit impatient with all the heat. I assume she hasn’t been out in the sun much, and after walking for about an hour around the gardens, she had had enough. We had a relaxing rest of the day and ended it by sitting and eating our dinner out by the river. The time that Matt and I have had together has been so wonderful. It has been years since we’ve had this much time to spend together, relax, play games, read, etc. It really has been such a blessing for us to experience this with Gabriella.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Today was the big day. We had our consulate appointment. This is where we take an oath and officially adopt Gabriella. We rode in a bus with about 10 other families there. We had a little bit of a wait before we did the official business. When they had us stand up, I was getting a little teary. This was in a way the culmination of the last several years. Even though it has only taken us 1 ½ years to adopt Gabriella, it was much longer in the making. It was just weeks after Olivia passed away that the Lord opened up a window for me to see two beautiful girls – Isabella and Gabriella. Getting them both here has been quite the journey, but now I can see the Lord’s hand every step of the way. The timing was perfect to bring this little angel into our lives. That is what she is. She is an absolute joy – as is every one of our other children. What a kiss from Heaven we’ve received.

Friday, May 20, 2011

Goodbye to Guangzhou and to China! We love you and your people. We have had such an amazing time while we’ve been here. We’ve taken long walks in beautiful parks and gardens, we’ve seen amazing sites, we’ve met incredible people, we’ve eaten delicious food, and we met and adopted our little Gabriella. This trip couldn’t have been more perfect. Next month Matt and I will celebrate our 25^th wedding anniversary and what a celebration this whole experience has been for us. I couldn’t have asked for anything more perfect than to have come to China and experienced this culture and added an absolute angel to our family. I feel like I’m constantly in awe at how the Lord works, how He heals hearts and lives, how He loves unconditionally, how He lets us wander and get lost but really never leaves us. I am full of gratitude for how He continually blesses us with more than we expect or deserve. Five and a half years ago I was crumpled on the floor in pain and heartache from losing Olivia. I struggled for years after her passing (along with beautiful times of peace and understanding). The Lord knows that I find my greatest joy in being a mother. He let me hurt and struggle. He knew what lay ahead. He would bless me with not one, but two more little angels – Isabella and Gabriella. What a treasure they are for our family. I haven’t lost Olivia. We will be reunited one day, and once again He will bless me with the opportunity to be a mother to her. There is no end to His goodness. Thank you for sharing in this journey with us!

With Love and Gratitude,

Stacy

Update on Gabriella Grace

2011-04-04T21:00:00.001-07:00

We are anxiously awaiting our travel approval to go to China. I understand that we should get our approval by the middle of April, and then hopefully we will be traveling the first part of May. I am trying to keep busy because waiting is no fun. We are all excited to bring sweet Gabriella home!

Gabriella Grace

2011-02-05T22:50:00.001-08:00

We are so excited to welcome Gabriella Grace into our home and family! We started the adoption process about a year ago and hopefully will be traveling to pick her up by April of this year. I pray for her daily that she is healthy and happy and getting lots of attention. She is in an orphanage in China. She is two years younger than Bella, and Bella talks about her baby sister daily. She is very excited to have a little playmate. Please say a prayer for Gabriella, and we will keep you posted on our travel plans. Stay tuned!

2010-08-19T13:26:00.000-07:00

Thank you to my dear friends and family who give my life meaning! I named my blog, Simply Joyful, for a reason. In the scriptures we read that men are that they might have joy! I started this blog after a period in my life where I certainly was not in joy. In fact, I found myself in so much pain, darkness and depression that I didn't know how to get out. Lucky for me, my husband (who is my hero) got me the help that could put me on a path to healing. I believe that there is opposition in all things. I'm not always crazy about that principle, but I trust that God knows better than I do. I've always loved and longed for spiritual things and experiences. I just didn't understand that by going on this path to the extent that I did, I would come face to face with darkness, which nearly destroyed me.

Today I feel joy! I feel peace! I feel gratitude! One of the reasons I have these feelings is for unbelievable family and friends who witnessed me falling from my path and stepped in with love to help guide me back. I have family and friends that dropped everything they were doing and spent time with me to lovingly point me to the right direction. There were others that met the needs of my children and family when I was incapable of doing so. I've been surrounded by angels on both sides of the veil.

Losing Olivia was the catalyst in my life to truly wake up! I wouldn't have every day with my children. I needed to make sure my priorities were in the right place. Too often I forget or get busy and get a different wake up call. Being a mother is working in partnership with God, and he can make anything beautiful!

I was writing my son Christian recently who is serving a mission for our church in Chile. I included a quote in my letter from a book that states:

"Man has learned to do magnificent things—build pyramids, construct bridges, erect towering office buildings, lay down highways. But as man builds, nature immediately begins to undo his work, rusting away the iron and decaying the wood. On the other hand, if man plants, nature proceeds to complete his unfinished work. Man sows a seed; up comes wheat. Man plants a sapling; up comes a tree. Such is the difference between working alone and working with God."

I would rather build with God than on my own any day!

I feel gratitude to my Father in Heaven, for stepping in and creating beauty from ashes in my life. These are a few of the flowers in my garden today! I love planting flowers and creating beautiful gardens! He is the author of beauty! When I look out into my garden I feel grateful that He has helped me create and see the beauty around me. Thank you my dear family and friends for your sunshine and influence in my life!

A Memorial for Memorial Day

2010-05-24T21:40:00.000-07:00

Since my daughter is buried in San Diego, and we can't be at her grave site on Memorial Day, I want to honor her by sharing my thoughts that I shared at her funeral 4 1/2 years ago. How grateful I am for eternal relationships! Olivia, I love you....xoxoxo

Never in a million years could I have prepared myself for the events that have taken place over the past week. Thank you for sharing our burden, for easing our pain. We’ve felt your prayers. We have been so overwhelmed at the love that we’ve felt since the loss of our beautiful daughter. I don’t know how anyone could make it through something so horrendous without family, friends and the gospel of Jesus Christ.

I'd like to share a quote from one of my favorite books, The Chosen:

Human beings do not live forever. We live less than the time it takes to blink an eye, if we measure our lives against eternity……What does it mean to have to suffer so much if our lives are nothing more than a blink of an eye? I learned a long time ago that a blink of an eye in itself is nothing. But the eye that blinks, that is something. A span of life is nothing. But the man (or girl) who lives that span, she is something. She can fill that tiny span with meaning, so its quality is immeasurable though its quantity may be insignificant.

Five short years ago to this very day, Olivia Grace traveled from her native land of Korea and was placed into my arms. My joy was exquisite and the bonding instant; absolutely no different than when I had given birth to my four other children. I was in love! The joining of our hearts on December 19, 2000 was the culmination of an incredible spiritual journey to bring her into our home.

There are many things that I do not know in this world, but I do know that Olivia was meant to enter our home. The call was strong, although at times, the flesh was weak. There were countless times through the adoption process that I would fall to my knees for strength and assurance because of my own insecurity to do such a thing. We already had four children of our own and I could have had another child, but it was clear to me what the Lord wanted. Because of that assurance I told Matt: “I don’t dare NOT follow through on these promptings.” Olivia’s name comes from the allegory in Jacob 5 about the Olive tree. She would be as the olive branch from another part of the Lord’s vineyard and be grafted or sealed into our family. Grace means a blessing from God

Although the pain has been unbelievably intense and I’ve agonized over and over and over the heart wrenching events of the past week, today I feel peace and blessed knowing she is safely back to our Father in Heaven and the Savior, Jesus Christ. Just hours before her passing, she asked me to cradle her in my arms and hold her like a baby. I know the Savior is doing the same for her.

Many of you have asked if there is anything that you could do. You’ve already shared our burdens, helped ease our pain, mourned with us, but there is something I want to ask each of you to do in Olivia’s honor. I would give anything to have more time with Olivia. You have that time with your own children, and so do I with my 4 beautiful, incredible remaining children. Please give your children a thousand more hugs and kisses, play more games, read more stories, take more walks, have more date nights, be more patient and loving, eliminate cross words, and cuddle with them…… like there is no tomorrow. LOVE – the most powerful force on earth

Family photo the day Olivia was sealed to us in the Bountiful Temple.

Hunter holding Bella.....our little tail end treasure :)

Begin Again in 2010

2010-01-15T12:14:00.000-08:00

I was talking with a friend of mine the other day, and she said that her family had a new motto for this year ---- Begin Again in 2010. They had some discord over the past year and decided as a family to start the year out fresh rather than hang on to old baggage and tension. I thought that was a great catchy motto and have been pondering the idea of "Beginning Again in 2010".

In the scriptures we read that men are that they might have joy. If that is the purpose of our existence, then why isn't everyone joyful? One of the surest ways to find joy is to live in the present! I've learned this the hard way as I desperately tried to hang on to the past. Joy might also slip by us as we are focusing and planning on the future.

One of my goals for the new year is to stay riveted to the present. I have many wonderful friends and family that do a great job of living in the present and just "being". The above photo is of my husband and two sons on one of their many outdoor adventures. Matt definitely knows and strives to live in the present. You've got to check out my dear friend Stefany's blog that captures the beauty of being present and living in each moment. I promise it will be worth your time - http://2713mornings.blogspot.com.

I really love this poem that I just came across by Helen Mallicoat and wanted to share it:

I was regretting the past

And fearing the future....

Suddenly my Lord was speaking:

"MY NAME IS I AM." He paused.

I waited. He continued,

"WHEN YOU LIVE IN THE PAST,

WITH ITS MISTAKES AND REGRETS,

IT IS HARD. I AM NOT THERE.

MY NAME IS NOT I WAS.

"WHEN YOU LIVE IN THE FUTURE,

WITH ITS PROBLEMS AND FEARS,

IT IS HARD. I AM NOT THERE.

MY NAME IS NOT I WILL BE.

"WHEN YOU LIVE IN THIS MOMENT,

IT IS NOT HARD.

I AM HERE.

MY NAME IS I AM."

Have a joy filled day with love and light!!

Time to Emerge............

2009-10-18T14:15:00.000-07:00

It has been several months since I've posted on my blog. This journey of mine (and just plain life) has its ups and downs and twists and turns. I want to make monumental progress, but there are times when I just have to hold on while making tiny, baby steps or maybe even backslide and then get back on my path of healing, health and wholeness.

One of my daughter's favorite books for me to read her is The Hungry Little Caterpillar. It shows a caterpillar's journey of eating, plumping up and then building a cocoon around himself. After a period of time, he begins nibbling a hole in the cocoon and pushes his way out and has become a beautiful butterfly!! Well, over the past several months I feel like I've been in a sort of cocoon, not to mention a few plumping pounds to boot. I desire to break out of the cocoon and transform into what I was meant to become. I want to reach out and connect with others. I'm tired of feeling pain and at times feeling lost.

C.S. Lewis struggled to understand how an omnipotent Being could allow such suffering. Lewis suffered much pain in his life. But, with the change of his worldview from atheism to Christianity, he looked at God as a good, conscientious surgeon: "The kinder and more conscientious he is, the more inexorably he will go on cutting. If he yielded to your entreaties, if he stopped before the operation was complete, all the pain up to that point would have been useless."

Even amidst trials and tribulations, there is peace to be found. It is finding the light within each one of us. There are many sources that would like to dim that light, but we were not meant for failure. President James E. Faust shared, "Some time ago in South America, a seasoned group of outstanding missionaries was asked, "What is the greatest need in the world?" One wisely responded, "Is not the greatest need in all of the world for every person to have a personal, ongoing, daily continuing relationship with Deity?" Having such a relationship; can unchain the divinity within us, and nothing can make a greater difference in our lives as we come to know and understand our divine relationship with God and His Beloved Son, our Master."

I know it is time for me to stop putting blocks on my own Divinity and start fully and completely taking on the yoke of Christ. For His yoke is easy and His burden is light.

Have a wonderful week and look to the beauty all around to see God's loving and tender mercies!

Forget yourself and get to work!

2009-05-29T15:52:00.000-07:00

Memorial Day weekend tugged on my heart strings as I spent a fair amount of time thinking of my sweet Olivia. Since she is buried in San Diego, and we now live in Utah, I decided to go visit the grave of a sweet boy, Aaron, who also passed through this mortal existence unexpectedly at the age of 5. Yvonne, his mother, has become a dear and cherished friend of mine as we have comforted and helped each other during our difficult times.

My doorbell rang that afternoon, and it was Yvonne. She stopped by with a beautiful dragonfly (Aaron's symbol) necklace and pair of earrings that she had made for several moms as a Memorial Day gift to those who had lost children. How thoughtful was that?! I've seen Yvonne's mourning and pain, but she taught me a powerful lesson that day. She turned her longing and sorrow for her son into service and joy to bless others.

I was reminded of the insightful advice a wise father gave to his son while going through a difficult experience, "Forget yourself, and get to work". I thought to myself, I've licked my wounds long enough (not that we ever get over losing a child), but the only way to truly be happy is when we are in the service of others.

Ever since Olivia passed away, I have wanted to do something in her honor. I think it is time that I get to work! I have nieces and a nephew that are fighting for their lives and a cure for Cystic Fibrosis. My sweet niece Lexi passed away with this disease when she was just 14, and I absolutely know that she and Olivia are best buds in the next realm and are incredible guardian angels! I want to ask if you'd be willing to donate any amount to this important cause. As a gift for your willingness to honor Olivia and Lexi through your donation, I would like to offer you something in return.........Olivia's Princess Pearl Bracelet. Before Olivia's funeral, a wonderful friend brought me 3 beautiful pearl bracelets that she had made. One was to put on Olivia, and the other two were for my daughter Aubrey and myself to wear to symbolically keep us connected.

To express my gratitude for your donation, I will send you a delicate young child's REAL pearl bracelet and a poem about how an Oyster turns a painful grain of sand into a beautiful pearl (we can always turn something painful into something beautiful). You can then give this little bracelet to a cherished princess in your life, in Olivia and Lexi's honor. My goal is to have thousands and thousands of little s wearing these bracelets. Every little should feel like a princess! After you make your donation, just e-mail me your address at stacyharmer@gmail.com, and I'll send it out right away!

Please consider supporting this incredible cause where over 90% of every dollar donated goes directly to the foundation for research, care and education.

Making a donation is easy and secure! Just click on the Great Strides Widget on the top right corner of this blog to get to my Great Strides page to make a donation that will be credited to my team. Any amount you can donate is greatly appreciated. Please feel free to forward this on to as many people as you can! Be sure you e-mail me your address (stacyharmer@gmail.com), and I will send you an Olivia's Princess pearl bracelet and poem for a little princess in your life.

May the goodness of God and the healing and atoning power of Jesus Christ bless your life forever!

Spring Clean To Greater Living!

2009-05-19T21:20:00.000-07:00

Some people seem to easily and effortlessly live clutter free (like my husband and mother) and for others it is a constant battle (like me :)). I don't necessarily like clutter, in fact, I really don't like it and know that my life runs more smoothly and peacefully when I am clutter free. It is just that there are so many fun, interesting and exciting things to do, that you could most often find me doing the things that I enjoy versus what is challenging and more difficult for me.

Well, I've spent the last 8 months really trying to be proactive in "healing" some areas in my life. Just like when my central vacuum hose gets a kink in it and there is no suction or air flow for it to do it's job, our lives can get kinked emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually, financially, etc. We can simply keep doing what we are doing and get frustrated that nothing is getting better, or unkink the hose and start feeling the energy!

Several months ago, I began studying Feng Shui principles to enrich my home life. This is an ancient art of decorating and placement based on the idea that everything in your outer surroundings affects you. One applies it in their inner life through techniques like meditation, positive thinking and creating balance and harmony in your mind, body and spirit. It also uses the Bagua, a feng shui map, to locate the energy centers in your home to enhance everything from your relationships to your career.

Well, I decided to do an experiment. My husband, Matt, was orchestrating and working on a very complex transactional deal with his company and had been working hard for several months. We rarely saw him home before 10:00 pm, and he had spent the previous week negotiating in New York. He found himself in the middle of the recent economic crisis and the deal turning sour. I decided to put what I had been studying to the test! According to Feng Shui, each area of your home represents an area of your life. When there is clutter and disorder in particular areas, the corresponding life area will also be stuck or simply not thriving. I stopped and took a look at the Prosperity and Abundance center in our home. It happened to be our back entry and laundry room. I was a bit chagrined to recognize the disarray. I had loads of unfinished laundry, piles of shoes, coats, backpacks, stacks of unwanted papers, kitty litter, etc. I thought to myself; I’m going to completely transfigure this area of my home (Prosperity and Abundance) to see if I might aide in getting Matt’s transaction accomplished.

I spent two full days catching up and clearing out the area. I didn’t stop there. I redecorated it using color, water, fragrance, plants, etc. Well, the very next day Matt came home after a long conference call involving attorneys across the country, and the deal was done!! Hallelujah. I told him afterwards what I had been doing, and my cute husband stated that to whatever effect it may have had….”Thank You” :) I’m not claiming any credit, but I do know when there is a clear intent, the energy flow moves, and with God’s grace, miracles can happen.

Who knows what will show up after we take a few loads to the DI or dump?!?!

Monica's gift to Elder Harmer

2009-04-23T08:07:00.000-07:00

What an amazing journey we had to the beautiful country of Australia! Jordan, or Elder Harmer, as everyone there affectionately called him, was serving in the Melbourne Mission - Chinese speaking (most of the time). From the moment he opened his call, I wanted to be able to go pick him up at the conclusion of his mission. I didn't know if it would be possible, but low and behold, the power of desire, attraction, killer airfares, and a sweet and supportive husband made the dream come true.

I won't make this a travel log but will post some fun pictures that share part of our journey. Aubrey, my sweet 16 year old daughter, and I had a fabulous experience. After she and I spent several days touring the city and outskirts of Melbourne, we finally met up with Jordan. The anticipation and excitement was very high. What a sweet experience that was to finally reconnect with my son!
The next 2 days were filled with 2 baptisms, attending 3 different wards, one fireside, dinner at the President and Sister Lindley's home and meeting lots of wonderful missionaries, recent converts, and ward members. It was humbling to see the love and gratitude shared by all of these wonderful people.

Monica, a Chinese student and recent convert that Elder Harmer and Elder Teng baptized, ran up to him at the end of the church meeting. She said that she hadn't realized he was leaving or she would have brought a gift for him. Instead, she said that she would like to give him a gift of sharing her testimony. She stood there in the foyer and humbly and confidently bore testimony of our Savior, Jesus Christ. She shared her love for Him, the Atonement and His Gospel. She concluded her testimony in the name of our Savior, Jesus Christ, Amen. Elder Harmer told her that was the best gift that anyone could have given him.
As I stood and witnessed such a tender and sweet exchange of a life altering gift that she had been given as well as her gratitude and confidence in sharing with him her knowledge and testimony, I was touched. I was deeply moved by the grace and confidence of bearing her testimony in the midst of crowds of people in the foyer. This was a priceless moment as a mother to witness. I felt the gratitude for my son's service, for a willing recipient's heart and the power of Christ to change lives, which will now bless the life of Monica and future generations.

I hope to be so humble and confident in sharing my gratitude for my Savior and His love, grace and mercy in my life.

Life Vision-----Planting Your Garden

2009-04-05T09:14:00.000-07:00

I refuse to write anything in this blog that I'm not trying to implement myself. This is actually a very good way for me to be accountable to myself and share some wonderful things that are helping me. I want to give you a glimpse of Life Vision.

I met a wonderful woman, Ann Webb, a couple of years ago. She spoke at my home where we were holding a women's retreat entitled "A Refuge from the Storm." I bought her workbook and proceeded to create my Life Vision on my own. I spent several days thinking about all the areas in my life and what I wanted to create in each one of them - spiritual, physical, financial, relationships, and personal development. I wrote, recorded and listened to it for awhile......but, I hadn't caught the vision of how powerful this exercise could be.

I've found myself in a spot to re-create my life to a much deeper level and get the coaching and training behind it. This time I attended one of Ann's workshops which was 100% more effective for me. A small group of us were gathered to do this together. We heard Ann's own amazing story of her creating her own Life Vision and how she began manifesting the things in her life that she desired. This has turned into her becoming a Life Vision Coach where her mission is to help others create this for themselves.

About 10 of us were gathered in her living room, and the networking alone was tremendous. I was surrounded by amazing people who had creativity, energy and vision. I am confident that I will be associating with all of these people in one way or another because I was so impressed with each one of them. Then, we got to work. Right there we began typing and focusing on each area of our life - creating our ideal self. The day was broken into segments with breaks and lunch in between. By the end of the day, I had a 10 page document of my own Life Vision. We didn't end just there. I came home and finished touching up some minor details and then recorded my Life Vision with a program that Ann provided that allows you to put music to it. This reaches the subconscious part of the brain which really is the powerhouse anyway.

My Life Vision is about 30 minutes long, and I'm recording it to my Ipod to listen to while I'm exercising daily. I'll let you know when the first miracle happens!!
If you want to create the life of your dreams with power and intensity, I'd suggest you visit with Ann Webb. Her website is: http://letyourlifespeak.biz.

Our lives are like gardens. They constantly need maintenance. When I've worked hard and think I've arrived and eased up, guess what happens?? Weeds begin to grow and take over. We need to constantly weed out our lives and thoughts we DON'T want and continually plant, feed, water and nourish what we DO want. This will create incredible beauty.

We need to implement universal laws in this process. The Law of Attraction creates the vision, the Law of Gestation (patience....this is hard for me, but every seed planted needs a gestation or incubation period before it takes root). If we force something to grow, it won't. If we keep digging up the seed to see if it has taken root, we ruin the process. We need patience. The last law is the Law of Action. The Quakers have a wonderful saying, "When you pray, move your feet." We need to take the steps necessary to bring about our desires.

Have fun creating YOUR Life Vision, be patient, implement action steps and reap what you sow!!

Love.....Without Conditions

2009-03-29T02:22:00.000-07:00

I woke up few days ago and felt an urgency to talk with my brother, Randy. He had just returned from Brazil where he does a great deal of business and shares immense love to the impoverished children and families there through his company and themoreproject.org. He had not been feeling well. Could he see me on such short notice? Certainly he has a busy schedule as a top executive of a billion dollar company, but that never seems to deter him from opening his heart to whomever needs it.

I called him on the phone first thing in the morning and requested a personal visit. Even though he had out of town guests and a busy schedule, he told me he would see me as soon as I could get to his office.

As I arrived and was escorted to the executive floor of Monavie, he had 3 people standing at his office door waiting to see him for an apparently important scheduled meeting. They looked at me and asked if I was also there to see Randy. Yes, I told them. Moments later when Randy arrived, I told him I could wait until after his meeting, and he said NO! He postponed his important scheduled meetings until we were done visiting, which was over an hour later.

He looked tired. He had been faced with some health and family challenges, but sat down with me on his beautiful leather couch and opened his heart and mind and allowed me to share mine.

First of all, I thanked him for his unconditional love and not judging me through my trials. I've personally faced an incredibly difficult past 3 years. His response struck so deeply in my soul, and I knew that he KNEW it with all of his heart. He said, "Stacy, I believe that is the only kind of love there is." Love.....without any conditions.

It has taken me a long time to learn some very important lessons through my own tests, trials, temptations and tribulations. When I hit rock bottom and had lost all hope, I realized that no one has a right to judge another person. My heart hurt for the times that I had judged others because they didn't fit into my mold or meet my expectations. When I failed to meet up to my own expectations, instead of forgiving myself and believing Christ would be merciful, I sunk into a deep dark hole. That was another time that Randy taught me about love.

At our family reunion last year, I wasn't doing well physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually. My 9 siblings, mother (dad was asleep :), and husband gathered to listen and provide me with strength as I opened my heart to share my pain and burdens. After many tears and heartache, my brother Randy spoke up. Stacy, we can't know and understand all of the experiences you've gone through, but we can express our love to you. Then he asked everyone to go around in the circle and share their love. I sat there sobbing because at that time, I absolutely didn't love myself, but I felt a glimmer of hope and was strengthened.

I have an amazing family that I've learned much from. Thank you Randy for opening your heart, putting aside yourself and your own demands, for listening, and modeling for me how to love. For without love, we are nothing. I love you. (Randy is far left of photo).

Dream the Impossible Dream!

2009-03-23T00:48:00.000-07:00

I want to welcome you to my blog!! Thank you for tuning in as I share some of the lessons I've learned in life to be "Simply Joyful" and to truly live my heart's desire. This may sound overly optimistic or Pollyanna, but I've found through hard experience that we can be the creators of our lives - either good or bad.

At the end of the year, 1776, Robert Morris wrote a letter to George Washington. He stated that the year was over, and may there never be another like it! Well, that was how my husband and I felt about 2008. I'm not going to go into the details here and now except to say that it was physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually exhausting to say the least. Yet, something remarkable happens when the storms of life occur. It waters and maybe even floods the ground, but eventually as time passes that ground is nourished to a much deeper level and the roots are fed and strengthened; the grass grows richer and greener, and flowers begin to bloom after the rain!

At the end of 2008, I decided to write out my obituary. Please don't think me morbid, but a wonderful mentor of mine told me to do this activity. What did I want to be said of me at the end of my life? What was I born to do? This was an interesting and eye opening exercise. I then wrote out my 20 year, 10, 5, 2 1/2 and 1 year goals. How big could I dream? I was not interested in merely surviving; I was interested in thriving! It wasn't about how much pain could I endure, but about how much joy could I hold?

Believe me, I had experienced my own personal hell so deeply and had felt surrounded by so much darkness that the thought of being the creator of my life was liberating. I had to take responsibility for attracting the trials that had come my way, own them and feel the pain that they caused. I had to look myself square in the face. This is not always easy, but it is empowering! My belief system is such that I believe we have the potential within ourselves to one day create worlds. If so, then why wouldn't God allow us to demonstrate this creative power in our own lives? How exciting!

After I had listed my heart's desire, I decided to create a dream board for 2009. I gathered magazines from all around the home and cut out pictures to detail my dream 2009. It was so fun. The sky was the limit. Now, that board hangs on my bedroom wall where I see it several times per day. It is already remarkable to me that many of the things that I had posted have already come to pass. So, I challenge you today to list what your heart's desire is. Know this with absolute clarity. Write it down and even create a board if you would like. Remember, it's not about how much pain you can endure but how much joy can you hold!